Thin One Checking In

This is me in my bathroom showing off my Lolita outfit.

You may call me “N” I am a 24 year old mother of two daughters, I am a recovering anorexic, and weigh 98lbs. My journey to where I am now is long and complicated, so I will try to keep it short and to the point.

When I was a teen I wanted to be thin, though I worked out every single day for hours. With the way I bulked up when working out, this wasn’t exactly easy. I had legs that the incredible hulk would have been jealous of; in fact I may have ripped out a few pairs of pants with my leg muscles alone. So what does a teenager do to become thin? Why she stops eating of course! Combine that with severe teenage depression and you have yourself a nice case of anorexia nervosa.

It turned from something that I did to be thin into something I did because I felt that I had no control over anything in my life. I also have generalized anxiety disorder that was untreated for years. I felt like I had no control over anything that happened in my life, so I manifested it into not allowing myself to eat. The oddest thing about this is that a love for cooking and for the tastes of food is what has changed me from anorexic to recovering. I can and will delve into more detail about my anorexic days, but today is not the day for long sad tales.

After my battles with anorexia I discovered something after having my second child. My metabolism is crazy stupid fast. I look anorexic when in fact I eat like a garbage disposal. I mean I love cake; I would eat it every day for a light snack. No matter what I do I can’t gain weight and I had a really really hard time with this for a while. I wanted to look like the ideal “healthy” woman, with some curves! I wanted to yell “I am healthy now look at this butt!”! It didn’t happen, and it won’t happen. So I guess my point is I have learned to love my bones haha. I like the way I look, and despite comments from people I hold my head up high. I don’t care if you think I look to thin, I am in fact healthy for the most part! (I have the blood work to prove it)